Wednesday, September 16, 2020

“Failure & Disappointment”

The righteous may fall seven times but still get up, but the wicked will stumble Into trouble. ~ Proverbs 24:16

 We all have failed. Failing is not a good feeling. Instead make us feel at our lowest. Failure by definition is failing to perform a duty or expected action. It’s also providing unsuccessful; lack of success. We all fail in the smallest things: staying on a diet, we stop praying, when we don’t see the results so we fail at praying, we fail in our faith as a Christian; Faith is not Faith Unless is tested, we fail running a 5k, keeping a New Years resolution, or controlling clutter in our homes. We fail in the large things: overcoming an addiction, finding employment, or holding on to an important relationship. And sometimes our failures negatively impact the rest of our lives: keeping a marriage together, persuading a child to make better choices, or overcoming a lifetime debt. Many times we fail God. We have also failed many times as being a good friend or a brother and sisters in Christ. Later, in this blog I will share the testimony. 

I have failed many times and I have failed in many areas in my life. That doesn’t mean that is the end. Failure can make us stronger. I have to admit that we don’t like to struggle, we don’t like to fail. But, it is important to understand that we are not called to compete with anyone; instead be thankful and learned. God's desire is that we learn  from our failures. The Bible registers  that “For everything there is a season. And a time for every matter under heaven“. (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I like to share a little and part of my testimony because I believe that in every testimony we can grow stronger together. I believe, If every woman would share their testimony; we can be stronger together, when we know that we are not alone we can all fight for the same cause. women need to know that they are not alone and that there is hope. I would like to encourage all women today to raise up their voices for all women and girls who once failed. It is not over. God has a plan and God is working for your favor. 

I have failed as a pastor. First, I wanted to be there at all times and be more of a superhero. I wanted to save everyone. (1 Timothy 4:16). God gave us a responsibility to preach the gospel at all times. God is sovereign does not negate the means that he chooses to bring salvation to people. I was passionate about my calling. I was too busy trying to never fail any sheep.  I didn’t want to let anyone down because I knew God would hold us accountable. I didn’t know how to say “No ''. I always made myself available. So I fail because I put them first instead of my  immediate family. One day all changed; I had a wake up call when my son once told me: “mom why are you always there for everyone? Why do you pray for everyone? Why do you stop studying to help others? He told me.... mom, I need my mom to be my pastor too. I want my mom to pray for me too. I want my mom to come home. I want my mom to listen to me more. One day, I was devastated. I cry out to God because I fail as a mother to my son. But, I learned that it was a wake up call for me to give more attention to my first ministry first. I needed to take care first of my son who desperately needed help. I learned that I had to balance my life as a pastor and still be a great mother. It was a 911 at the moment. I cry out to God. I ask God for forgiveness and then ask my son for forgiveness. From that moment, I started putting my first ministry first (Family). 

Living a life of prayers benefits you, but it also trains your children in how to pray. So find little ways to pray for your kids throughout the day. Listen to your children. Pay attention to the signs. There is too much pain, sadness and depression in children. It’s time for women to pray for your children and always be available to your children because God gifted us with them to educate and teach them to fear God. I have failed in nursing school many times. I cried and I was so embarrassed to see my classmates succeed. I thought God created me different. I even thought I had a learning disability. I started drinking vitamins and running. I even visit my doctor. I came to find out I was overwhelmed and too stressed. After failing many times and not being accepted in the nursing school of my choice. By God's grace and mercy I accomplish my dream.  In 2018 I graduated from nursing school at EDP university with a 3.8 GPA ( MAGNA CUM LAUDE MEMBER).  

To all the beautiful women out there who are a mommy like me and have failed as much as I have; I want to let you know; you are not alone. Never give up. Failure develops the power of judgment and provides the experience which helps us in achieving success. So, when we fail, It helps us grow and mature. Always be the reason someone smiles. Many successful people fail before they succeed. For example, Walt Disney was fired by the editor of a newspaper because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. That wasn’t the last of his failures. Today Disney world is one the most visited places by most people. Failure is never the end. It is instead, a necessary part of the journey and to reach our destination. May we keep hope alive. And find redemption through it. In the Bible many fail and mess up so we are not alone. Abraham, the father of faith and of the Jewish people, lied about his wife twice. His son Issac did the same thing. Sarah, Abraham's wife, laughed at the promise of God then denied that she laughed. Noah got drunk. Samson was immoral. Gideon was fearful. Rehab was a prostitute. David had an affair and then had someone murdered to cover it up. Elijah was deeply depressed and didn’t want to live.  Jonah ran from God. The disciples fell as sleep when they should have been praying, and Simon Peter openly denied Jesus three times. Moises killed a guy. Despite all their failure and trouble they Loved God and with God's help many succeeded others didn’t make it. Hebrew 11 mentioned only their victories and not their mistakes. That is because God sees what we will become, not necessarily what we are. 

Despite your failures and disappointments God has a plan for you. Never let anyone tell you that you can not do it. Because God is sovereign and with a little faith as a mustard seed you will succeed and so will your children. This is just a temporary moment to grow and mature. We need to stand firm to his promises and never give up neither to our children. They need us, they need our prayers. To every woman who is struggling in failure or with their children, please know, you are not alone. We see broken life, but he sees a life put back together and used for his glory. 

~God loves broken people, and he can restore them into a beautiful butterfly. “ Don’t Give up” “Keep trying until you get it; it is not over. God is a way maker. I see miracles happen everyday. A failure doesn't determine your destiny....... 

~Pastora Madeline Alvarez, RN 🦋

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