Breaking the Shackles of Shame

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!” And Moses said, “Here I am.” (Exodus 3:4).

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” (Genesis 3:10)

Many of us had ran away from our ministry,  family, friends, goals and dreams. Its easier to run away from our failures and shame than facing it.

 I've walked away from toxic friendships, my ministry, and dreams. For many years, I was a slave of my shame. When God called me to pastor I was still a shame of my past. I believed every negative word instead of God's word.  Later, when I was ordained as a Prophet, I was still feeling guilt.  My Spirit was crushed. I saw how many underestimated my calling. I saw many trying to justify themselves by pointing out my past. They always found ways to discouraged me. They believed more in those from outside than myself. Since, elementry  school I never fit in any group because I was never good enough for them. I ran away from lies of the enemy until I said "Lord here I am". Thats when it hit me and I decided to face my shame and failures.  

I understood that I was ugly but still beautiful. I learned that I can not  change my past but I can change my future and still be used by God. We create a mess in our shame, trying to throw off the weight of our sins. We walked away and hid accusing others trying to justify our shame to other people. We don't want to take responsibility. But we no longer naked. We don't need to hide our shame because God will cover our shame as he did with Adam and Eve. And the Lord God made for Adam and his wife garments of skins and clothed them ( Genesis 3:21).

I walked away from open doors of opportunities because a closed door from the past failure still resounded in my ears rather than, working through the rough patch to keep it strong. We run away from things that God has given us instead of facing it.  An author wrote a book "When you don't like your story "by Lysa Terkeurst. Moises, had failed in many areas and even running away after killing the Egyptian. Moisés was raised in the wrong family. He was feeling shame for not only killing, but being raised as an Egyptian instead of his real Hebrew family. God wasn't finished with Moises and He is not finished with you. "Unique for being broken". 

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weaknesses of God is stronger than human strength. (1 Corinthians 1:25). God is calling you to let your failure, move forward in all he has for you to do and live boldly. Many people enjoy listening and telling stories but they feel a shame to testify their own real story.  Unfortunately,  many use that as an excuse to maintain their self isolated from society and God. 

Your story is not to be a shame,  your past doesn't define you. If you walked away from your sinful nature you are now new creature; old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

God repairs us for his glory. We are his masterpiece. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. (Jeremiah 18:6 NIV).

Don't hide your shame neither your scars. God will always cloth us. God always has clay in the potter. Come as you are.  Come to God in repentance instead of shame. God can work his glory and victory over your shame.  

Hallelujah, what a Savior! 

~Pastor Madeline Alvarez,  RN 🦋

Overcoming Temptation 🍏

Temptation comes in so many forms. It's easy to excuse our decisions and justify ourselves. While is true that the enemy is roaming the earth seeking people to destroy; it is also true that as Christians we have the Holy Spirit in times of trouble and doubt. Who is responsible when we give into temptation or lose control? The Bible has many scriptures to help us understand the fact that we all face temptations but; we are not to blame God.  Each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 

 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. (James 1:13 NKJV).

Let's remember that we are not alone.  We've all occasionally fallen for a lie, whether it was something as trival as false advertisement or as serious scams that had many questioning "where is your God" (Psalm 46). Have you ever try taking a short cut? Ironically, that shortcut became the longest route. Have you ever cheated on a school/ college test? Cheating had consequently cause you to end up with a failing grade or even repeating the semester. Have you lied on your taxes to make more money and ended up paying more? Have you ever lie to your children? Yes, God does seems far away at times in the materialistic and hostile world we live in. We will encounter those who flatly deny God's existence. Satan's first move was to convince Eve to doubt God's promises. Do Not rush the process. Worship in the hallway,  clap for those who pass until its your turn. Be faithful to your God. Be patient. Never stop praying because miracles happens everyday. "Jesus says", “You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44). Let go and let God. We often try to help God and mess up his plans. Wait for your miracle and don't give up. For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted.( Hebrews 2:18 NKJV). It is better to be right with God than to settle for the materialistic things of this world. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? (Mark 8:36). Therefore, let us all submit to God and resist the devils lies. Next time you are face with temptation remember the "psalmist said": Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God. (Psalms 43:5 NKJV). For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10 NKJV)

~Next time you are facing a two way road and in doubt, choose Jesus over satan lies. Sin always has sin. Ask yourself if the temporary gratification of a wrong choice is worth suffering the consequences that are sure to follow. 

~Pastor Madeline Alvarez, RN🦋

My help comes from the Lord

Nurses Week!

Nurses Week!

And remember every nurse should be one who is to be depended upon...She must have a respect for her own calling, because God’s precious gift of life is often literally placed in her hands.  ~ Florence Nightingale.

Nursing is my calling, to serve the sick. Jesus said “ It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. (Mark 2:17). 

Through COVID 19 I learn what Jesus meant. It was through COVID that I really learned that this was my true vocation and calling. I saw many people die. I cry out to God and ask God for mercy and compassion. Many times I went home burned out and exhausted. I was just in training. I didn’t think that this was going to be the training of my career. I was a nursing assistant in the Med Surg unit. I was just a new graduate looking forward to putting my skills to use. I was studying for my NCLEX-RN, as a new Nursing Assistant in the Med Surg unit I thought It would be a good opportunity to learn.  Instead, I was sent to the war. My faith was tested, my inner strength, my human feelings to others. I had to take many breaks, walk away and cry in the bathrooms and hallways. My first patient that passed away in ICU caused me to break down. I had to walk away and call my husband for comfort. I had to ask God for strength. Many nurses saw me as sensitive; others told me that nursing was the wrong career, others told me “ I should reconsider “and many laughed at me. That’s when I knew my true calling.  Have you ever questioned God? Have you ever doubted your career? Well, I did. It was through the pandemic that I realized how much passion, patience and endurance I needed. I thought I was ready. Unfortunately, this was the most devastating moment. This was the perfect moment to realize if I really wanted to be a “Nurse”. I admit my nursing trials never end. I have been tested. Through nursing school,  studying for a license and trying to understand the coldness of human nature. “And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. (Mathew 24:12). Many will scream, others will kick you out of their rooms and others will mistreat you, very little will thank you.  But, I stay firm. “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me”. Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, When did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you as a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothes? The king replied, Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Love is action. No one showed the depths of true love more than our Lord. He set the example for believers to show love and compassion to each other and to the world by what he did. I took the opportunity to grow in my career. I had the opportunity to introduce Jesus to many people while they took their last breath. I was blessed to be able to hold many hands and pray. I saw many miracles, when the world saw a pandemic and death; I saw life and opportunity to bring the gospel of the kingdom to the hospital. I even had the opportunity to pray with many nurses at the beginning of the shift. I learned to be a brave nurse assistant because when I didn’t understand God's plan; I learned to obey, walk, even when there was opposition, I found “purpose in my true calling. Jesus healed the sick in Love. Therefore, we should do the same and follow his commandments.  Let us love our calling and work like for our God. “Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being, for the Lord. (Colossians 3:23). Nursing is my calling and passion. I am happy that I chose a career where I can put myself before others. No matter what, I will always be a humble servant of my Lord. If I have to choose again, I will choose to be a Registered Nurse. Being a nurse is more than just medical care for patients, it's a spiritual journey. My calling is to preach the Kingdom. I pray that God will give me a mind of knowledge and wisdom, especially, help me remember the true purpose of my vacation, service and dedication. If you're a nurse, a warrior; you have much to celebrate and be thankful for. raise your voice and testify for the Glory of God. Remember, Jesus loved the sick and had compassion for those who the world rejected. Always, remember to be grateful. Thank God and walk in his purpose. Never let anyone tell you that you can not do it. Bear one another burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Always work in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. Remember to practice hospitality. Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. Everyone who loves has been born of God. Never stop praying.

~Pastor Madeline Alvarez, Register Nurse 🦋

Victory over Anxiety!

Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, 
but a good word makes me glad. ~ Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety can happen to anyone. There are many things that may lead us to have anxiety; whether it is a new job, new home, new neighborhood, college/school, new changes or even things that are out of our control. There’s a difference between healthy anxiety and fear of the future. Anxiety can really affect our whole life. We might experience trouble sleeping, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension etc. Anxiety happens when you lose control of everything. Back in November, 2020 I face many trials at once. Even when I consider myself a warrior woman and prayer woman that doesn’t mean that I have a perfect life. I keep running the race with the help of God. My story is probably a lot like yours. I believe in a God who still performs miracles everyday. I believe in a Savior that died so I could live an abundant life. I believe the word of God is clear about transforming our minds and not allowing us to be overwhelmed, worried and faced with obstacles and challenges. I like to point out that leaders are “normal people”.  I like to share my testimony and be as transparent as I can be. I believe that many women can relate and come to the feet of Jesus Christ by sharing their testimony. Unfortunately, what happens when a leader, a mommy of four who is a preacher and knows the word of God and trusts Jesus as her Savior, faces anxiety? What does it mean about her faith? The stigma surrounding our society today makes us believe that anxiety can be controlled. I have an endocrine disorder that is often caused by an underlying medical condition. That being said; I drink medication for life while I believe that God will heal me. I have been fighting my endocrine disorder for 21 years. One of the things that an endocrinologist tells me is that I am very sensitive to “depression“ but as a woman who knows the word of God I never receive my dr. diagnosis because I have been praying for a miracle. I believe my miracle is coming. I was faced with anxiety last year. Yes, life happened. I was facing challenges that I never thought I was going to have to pray and fast more. I was faced with trials with our second born child, we were in the middle of closing our home, relocating, kids were relocating to new school, new town, new friends and teachers.  I was getting ready for my board examination to take my license for my RN and had to dedicate hours of studying. I sold all my furniture thinking that we were going to close on the date that we were told. As me and my husband started fasting and praying things got worse and out of control. Our son was not getting any better, we did not close our home and many doors were closed. I realized that my hair was falling more and more, my face was breaking out.  I was very weak from fasting. We didn’t have any furniture nor a refrigerator because I move by faith and not by sight. The harder I prayed the weaker. Everyday I saw my very little hair get thinner. As many people know me, I have always had long hair since I was a little girl. I love my long hair. Unfortunately, I was faced with an anxiety that caused me to let go. As I visit my dr. He told me that my anxiety was causing my hormones to be out of control and I needed to visit a dermatologist as well. Since, I knew that this battle was going to be a “victory” and that It was all temporary. I refuse to get medication and I refuse to visit another dr. Not because I was in denial, but because I knew that the God that I serve needed to test my faith. I cried out to God and I really felt like God was not answering, At one point I called out to God as David did. “Hear my cry, O God, attend to my prayer”. (Psalm 61:1). Unfortunately, I felt hurt, I was in pain. I did not have any energy to pray or fast. I could not even pray but cry to God. I was feeling ignored by God. “Listen to my prayer, O God, and do not ignore my prayer (Psalm 55:1). I had my mentor pastors in New Jersey and the Dominican Republic praying and calling me. But, I understood this was my battle, my fight and my testimony. I knew that a miracle was coming and a very big victory. I was still preaching the gospel talking about God of miracles; meanwhile I needed a 911 miracle. I had to interrupt my fasting because I couldn’t do it anymore. Our realtor, who happens to be my cousin, was so patient and encouraged  us to not give up. She knew that God did not leave or forsake his children.  She gave us many resources and guided us when we had lost hope of our “dream house”. I ask God if this is our home please answer us; but as days passed things were more complicated. We didn’t understand, I even gave up because I was tired and mentally drained. God sent us the right realtor who happens to be my cousin. As my mother in law showed up in my house I was crying, I was desperate and she started crying and said to me. “Let’s pray”. This is an attack for you because God knows how strong you are and God knows the enemy hates you. She said to me “don’t give up”. She said to me Maddy “fight” because your ministry will not be aborted, your ministry will survive and so will your child; this will be his testimony for the glory of God. As we prayed in my room and cried out I could not pray but cry she prayed and prayed before she finished praying the unexpected happened. My phone rang and it was my husband on the phone with our miracle. “Praise God”. Hallelujah. I had to cut my hair but that is just material and not permanent, it will grow. I bought different treatments to help with my acne that even as a teenager never had. January 7th, 2021 we close our home. This was a true miracle. We are now in a new town and new home. We are still trying to settle and get familiar with our area. We will always be tested. God knew it hurt but he also needed to test my faith. I never departed from God. Instead, I keep preaching his goodness even at my weakest moment. I never curse God, instead I pray harder and bless God. Women, this can be your story too. Every woman has a different story and different testimony. Please “raise your voice “ let your testimony be heard because you are not alone. God is a God of miracles. His mercies are new everyday. Life can happen in a blink of an eye but don’t ever stop praying and never doubt God your miracle is coming. Cast all anxiety to God. Many see my Glory but don’t know my story. In “Butterfly by Grace “Mommy and Daughter blog” our goal is to share our testimonies and let other mommies know that we are one body of Christ. We are together in this and my goal is to reach all women and children with our testimonies and the word of God. 

Lets Pray!

Father God we cancel in the name of Jesus all sickness and all anxiety! We stand in fatih and declare the word of God that says: “God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and sound mind”. We declare your promises for our life and everyone reading this blog is facing any anxiety. We declare the Yes and The Amen of God in Jesus name. AMEN

 

Back to school

     Hello my name is Ashley Gabriela Alvarez. I will be talking about school. Now I’m in a new school for about 3 years now and i made a lot of some new friends. Some of them are nice and some of them or kinda mean.  Some of my teachers are nice and some of them can be stick. But there are a lot of cool things.My school is huge and has a lot of space. We also do a lot of activities like, Pajama Day or crazy hair day stuff like that. I’m in band. It pretty fun. For Christmas, they like to do secret Santa it so fun then we have some treats like a small party.

Having my twin brother Gabriel in same class its feel good. So that when we have home work We can do it together and help each other, and if we weren’t in the same class we need help from our parents. Now in virtual we still need help. We don’t have to do different things at the same time  so, if we were in the same class it would be easier so we can work things together with our work and finish at the same time so it wont be hard for our parents if they are helping us. In school some girls get bullied because the bullies think that they can do whatever they want but what I think that that’s not how they act when there parents are round or any of there family members. What we gotta do is be nice and be helpful because then who Evers get bully  will make themself feels like a looser. So what I think we can be nice and be happy and have good manners. To all the girls out there , if you or someone it’s being bully break with silence and tell God and then tell your parents. Little girls all around the world break the silence and raise your voice because you are not alone. We all have been bullied and it really hurts. So let’s remember we are all created In the image Of God.

Ashley Gabriela Alvarez  🦋

“Failure & Disappointment”

The righteous may fall seven times but still get up,

 but the wicked will stumble into trouble.

 ~ Proverbs 24:16

 We all have failed. Failing is not a good feeling. Instead make us feel at our lowest. Failure by definition is failing to perform a duty or expected action. It’s also providing unsuccessful; lack of success. We all fail in the smallest things: staying on a diet, we stop praying, when we don’t see the results so we fail at praying, we fail in our faith as a Christian; Faith is not Faith Unless is tested, we fail running a 5k, keeping a New Years resolution, or controlling clutter in our homes. We fail in the large things: overcoming an addiction, finding employment, or holding on to an important relationship. And sometimes our failures negatively impact the rest of our lives: keeping a marriage together, persuading a child to make better choices, or overcoming a lifetime debt. Many times we fail God. We have also failed many times as being a good friend or a brother and sisters in Christ. Later, in this blog I will share the testimony. 

I have failed many times and I have failed in many areas in my life. That doesn’t mean that is the end. Failure can make us stronger. I have to admit that we don’t like to struggle, we don’t like to fail. But, it is important to understand that we are not called to compete with anyone; instead be thankful and learned. God's desire is that we learn  from our failures. The Bible registers  that “For everything there is a season. And a time for every matter under heaven“. (Ecclesiastes 3:1). I like to share a little and part of my testimony because I believe that in every testimony we can grow stronger together. I believe, If every woman would share their testimony; we can be stronger together, when we know that we are not alone we can all fight for the same cause. Women need to know that they are not alone and that there is hope. I would like to encourage all women today to raise up their voices for all women and girls who once failed. It is not over. God has a plan and God is working for your favor. I have failed as a pastor. First, I wanted to be there at all times and be more of a superhero. I wanted to save everyone. (1 Timothy 4:16). God gave us a responsibility to preach the gospel at all times. God is sovereign does not negate the means that he chooses to bring salvation to people. I was passionate about my calling. I was too busy trying to never fail any sheep.  I didn’t want to let anyone down because I knew God would hold us accountable. I didn’t know how to say “No ''. I always made myself available. So I fail because I put them first instead of my  immediate family. One day all changed; I had a wake up call when my son once told me: “mom why are you always there for everyone? Why do you pray for everyone? Why do you stop studying to help others? He told me.... mom, I need my mom to be my pastor too. I want my mom to pray for me too. I want my mom to come home. I want my mom to listen to me more. One day, I was devastated. I cry out to God because I fail as a mother to my son. But, I learned that it was a wake up call for me to give more attention to my first ministry first. I needed to take care first of my son who desperately needed help. I learned that I had to balance my life as a pastor and still be a great mother. It was a 911 at the moment. I cry out to God. I ask God for forgiveness and then ask my son for forgiveness. From that moment, I started putting my first ministry first (Family). Living a life of prayers benefits you, but it also trains your children in how to pray. So find little ways to pray for your kids throughout the day. Listen to your children. Pay attention to the signs. There is too much pain, sadness and depression in children. It’s time for women to pray for your children and always be available to your children because God gifted us with them to educate and teach them to fear God. I have failed in nursing school many times. I cried and I was so embarrassed to see my classmates succeed. I thought God created me different. I even thought I had a learning disability. I started drinking vitamins and running. I even visit my doctor. I came to find out I was overwhelmed and too stressed. After failing many times and not being accepted in the nursing school of my choice. By God's grace and mercy I accomplish my dream.  In 2018 I graduated from nursing school at EDP university with a 3.8 GPA ( MAGNA CUM LAUDE MEMBER). To all the beautiful women out there who are a mommy like me and have failed as much as I have; I want to let you know; you are not alone. Never give up. Failure develops the power of judgment and provides the experience which helps us in achieving success. So, when we fail, It helps us grow and mature. Always be the reason someone smiles. Many successful people fail before they succeed. For example, Walt Disney was fired by the editor of a newspaper because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas”. That wasn’t the last of his failures. Today Disney world is one the most visited places by most people. Failure is never the end. It is instead, a necessary part of the journey and to reach our destination. May we keep hope alive. And find redemption through it. In the Bible many fail and mess up so we are not alone. Abraham, the father of faith and of the Jewish people, lied about his wife twice. His son Isaac did the same thing. Sarah, Abraham's wife, laughed at the promise of God then denied that she laughed. Noah got drunk. Samson was immoral. Gideon was fearful. Rehab was a prostitute. David had an affair and then had someone murdered to cover it up. Elijah was deeply depressed and didn’t want to live.  Jonah ran from God. The disciples fell as sleep when they should have been praying, and Simon Peter openly denied Jesus three times. Moises killed a guy. Despite all their failure and trouble they Loved God and with God's help many succeeded others didn’t make it. Hebrew 11 mentioned only their victories and not their mistakes. That is because God sees what we will become, not necessarily what we are. Despite your failures and disappointments God has a plan for you. Never let anyone tell you that you can not do it. Because God is sovereign and with a little faith as a mustard seed you will succeed and so will your children. This is just a temporary moment to grow and mature. We need to stand firm to his promises and never give up neither to our children. They need us, they need our prayers. To every woman who is struggling in failure or with their children, please know, you are not alone. We see broken life, but he sees a life put back together and used for his glory. “God loves broken people, and he can restore them into a beautiful butterfly. “ Don’t Give up” “Keep trying until you get it; it is not over. God is a way maker. I see miracles happen everyday.  A failure doesn't determine your destiny.